you don't love him but;

Hey, I'm Shivi Sharma. I write poetry. You can find more on my instagram page, @feralembers

https://www.instagram.com/feralembers/

i. You don't love him, but he's the first person on your speed dial. The first person you call for a minor to major existential crisis. You don't love him, but if there was a spider in the corner of your room, he'd come home at three am because he knows you've been afraid of spiders since you were two. 

ii. You don't love him but you're writing letters to each other, not because you're 3000 miles away, his house is 11 minutes away but this is how you show affection. You don't love him but it's three am and you're talking about how his first girlfriend proposed to him and he's calling you best friend.

iii. You don't love him but you're talking about getting drunk and he says he's going to be there holding your hair while you puke out your organs. You're promising him you're not going to hurt forever. You don't love him but he's falling for you. 

iv. You don't love him but you're falling for him and it's your fourth birthday with him and he's making you videos and talking about falling in love. You don't love him but falling in love is the first thing on his to-do list.

v. You don't love him but you can't. You're just a kid. You're telling him about how you're going to move next year and he's feeding you constant lies. You don't love him but you're talking about what you've done to him. 

vi. You don't love him but you're in the library together and each book you say you've finished, he's adding that to his to- be- read. You're talking at three am and he says your parents didn't do anything. You don't love him but he's calling you his lover, what the fuck.

vii. You don't love him but it's three pm and you're breaking apart and you're texting him and you've misspelt the word anxiety and he's telling you the same thing everyone else does. You don't love him, you're never going to.